THINKING OUT LOUD

i just watched sex and the city.. and yes i am one of the thousands of women who fell for one of those women and say i’m in that same situation with my relationship…i relate with carrie..

more than the shoes, the bags and the clothes (although i don’t do signature).. I have MY ”MR. BIG”

i have been in love with a guy for almost 7 years now.. four years of a topsy turvey relationship with him made me realize i had to let him go.. i tried to get him out of my memory.. i have been into different relationships.. but it seems like the standard my heart longs for would always be him..and it was hard.. becasue as much as you’d want to love more people and make relationshhips work.. whenever we bump into each other.. it seems like no time has past.. its still the same ‘ol us..and just like any Carry-John dilemma.. sex was just phenomenal.. our chemistry.. what we want, how we feel..we complement each other’s fantasy..if we just wanna cuddle..if we just wanna kiss..we can do it the whole day..and the time stealer does his job..

so what’s the catch?

My MR. BIG has Natasha on his side.

..he tells me i make him feel a lot of things..he always comes back to me.. but the thing is.. he has Natasha..

when will it be me? when will it be when my MR. BIG drops everything else and decides that it’s me he loves.. it’s me who complete? will i ever get to walk down the aisle with him?

doesn’t he know how much i care for him? that in a heartbeat, i’d drop everything?

but my heart is such a coward..it hybernates with just one his touch..

that’s why the only thing i can do is to wait..put my guards up and wish for the best..

for now…